Health Update

Yesterday I spent two hours waiting in the oncology clinic at the hospital I have been referred to. I was meant to be seen in the morning and I was seen in the afternoon, but we got there. I am happy to say that I was given the all clear from the haemotologist and discharged... Continue Reading →

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How Do You Feel Love?

This is a question that I've asked myself over and over. The 5 love languages would suggest that I feel love through quality time and physical touch. But I would suggest that I recognise love the most in those ways because that's how I give love. I don't always feel love. I don't know why... Continue Reading →

Morning Eyelashes

This morning when I was walking the line between blissful dreams, frightening nightmares, and my waking moments I rolled over. And I could swear I felt you there. Almost kissed your lips with mine until I realised as that veil slid away that you were not by my side. That I could not brush my... Continue Reading →

Patterns

I notice patterns in other people far too quickly and while I don't make an effort to remember them I always do. Sometimes this can get me in trouble. I notice patterns in myself, but not always as quickly as I should. I am always getting myself into trouble with these patterns because a lot... Continue Reading →

Death By Cheeky Grin

Something about the way your lips curl up just to give a glimpse of the light I imagine we see before death. Something about that Sends electricity through my veins. Maybe I am dying. But I should think that death by cheeky grin isn't the worst way to go. Do your worst. Blind me, then... Continue Reading →

It’s All A Spectrum

Recently, I've been reading Aspergirls by Rudy Simone. Those of you that are close to me know that I've recently discovered I may actually be on the spectrum. It is still something that I am trying to figure out with my psychologist, but I had the book suggested to me. Now, in Queensland, you can't be diagnosed... Continue Reading →

Tell Me What You Need

Do you know how your depression affects those around you? The short answer: yes, to an extent. A part of my depression and anxiety means that I am constantly worried about being a burden to those around me. I know that my depression affects my loved ones, but I'm not always aware of how. In... Continue Reading →

Reject Vulnerability

Everybody's afraid of being rejected so they never let themselves be vulnerable. So bear with me, I've just returned home after my first surgery ever and I've been very vulnerable lately. I notice all of these old habits that I used to use to push people away when I thought I was too vulnerable and... Continue Reading →

When It’s Bad

What's it like to always want to die? I've seen this question before and it's always interesting reading the answers. I'm suicidal, but it's not what you think. For me, it's so surreal. Like everyone, I go through good days and bad days. Most of the time I am pretty good at controlling those thoughts.... Continue Reading →

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